Thoughts on being in a long distance relationship.

With being in a long distance relationship, you can never be sure if your partner is faithful to you, and honestly, that is one of my biggest concerns. How do i know? How do i bring up my concerns without seeming clingy or controlling? because i’m not.
I was made to be loyal, i’m like a dog, once i’ve found my ‘person’, i do EVERYTHING in my power to keep him, i was not made for cheating, i don’t have that in me, thank god. But how do i know he’s faithful? i don’t.. there is so many ways to cheat these days. It doesn’t necessarily have to be sex.. i consider flirting to be as much cheating as sex.

I’m worried, because if he decides this isn’t worth it, it will be so easy for him to just drop it, stop fighting for it and just let it go. With us being so far away from each other, i can’t just call him every time i want because of the time difference, and i can’t just show up at his door, no.. it takes planning, and money and time. I need him to tell me everything is going to be alright. But he’s a guy, and like most guys, he needs me to spell shit out for him, and i rarely do, because i’m afraid i’ll just push him away with all my worries. I need SOMEONE to tell me it’s going to be okay, that we will push through this. So many thoughts..
I keep telling myself it’s worth it, and that it won’t be like this for forever, i know it’s not, i know we’ll be together soon and everything WILL be okay, but right now, i’m fighting hard to stay over the surface.

When things get hard…

Try to stay busy. Easier said than done right? Yeah. i know.
I’m in a relationship with a US infantry soldier. That doesn’t sound too hard, you say? Well, try being in a relationship with a man who’s not only deployed, but he also lives in another country than you. It’s hard, so so hard, but i believe it will be worth it in the end. It will be worth all the tears, all the times you feel insecure and all the time you feel lonely.
Love is a funny thing, you can’t really control who you fall in love with. When you’re hit by that arrow, there is no going back, it’s either a hit or miss, depending on what you make out of the situation. Every couple has their own story, this is ours.

Deployment; You worry, you pray, you have bad dreams, and all you can do is wait for that 5 minute phone call or that 3 words text message. You don’t know where he is, you don’t know whats going on. All you can do is wait, wait and then wait some more. I knew it would be hard times, and i knew we would have to take one step at a time, one DAY at a time, but i think i’ll never get used to my man being in a line of fire. I can’t even begin to understand what he’s going through, or what he’s seen. Honestly, i don’t ever want to. I just want him to know that i am so incredibly proud of him, he makes me so happy, even 4500 miles away, he makes me the happiest girl in the world, and i thank him every day for it.